


Baking Soda

by philophrosynae



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philophrosynae/pseuds/philophrosynae
Summary: Ivan plans to make dinner for his family for the holidays.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Baking Soda

The shopping basket handles were too thin. They were digging painfully into Ivan’s forearm and the tips of his fingers were starting to tingle. He had a feeling that if he pushed up his sweater sleeves, angry red dents would be left behind by the metal. 

He was also fairly certain every store he had been in for the past week was playing songs from the same holiday playlist. Some Satan-spawned mix that was trailing in his snowy footsteps.

Thankfully this was supposed to be his last stop. His family was coming over and he was making them dinner. He had even sweet-talked Alfred’s family into coming. All he needed were the ingredients. 

A packet of flour was weighing down his basket. All-purpose was supposedly fine. Sugar he already had in the pantry at home along with the salt. Crisco had been grabbed because apparently shortening worked better than butter. Plus a pound of butter because he was skeptical. He even had a small container of buttermilk nestled next to the new oven mitt. 

Alfred had taught him his favorite buttermilk biscuit recipe a while back and he had promised their families that he would give it a shot on his own. The other man had made it look easy, padding around their shared kitchen in his brightly colored socks as he hummed off-key Christmas music. 

Ivan spun the ring that had been placed on his finger and never removed. He had forgotten his list, still stuck to the refrigerator door at home with some garish magnet Alfred had bought on a whim. Baking powder and baking soda were both staring at him from their spots on the shelves and he couldn’t remember which one he needed. 

He had tried googling a recipe on his phone but the search results had all been different. Some had said both, some had said neither, and none of them seemed right. Driving home and back to the store again just for the list seemed a bit wasteful. He had texted his sister and she hadn’t known the answer either. Arthur had promised him he could call whenever he needed anything but Ivan didn’t think this qualified and-- 

Alfred had been dead for four months, three days, and nine hours. 

Ivan had made himself forget the minutes. 

The labels were getting a bit blurry and he blinked rapidly before anyone else in the aisle could see. He set the basket down gently on the shiny linoleum floor before the weight dragged him down. Ivan knew it would probably annoy the employee who found it later but he had left his scarf with Alfred when he had said goodbye so he had no way to cover his face and he needed to leave. He needed to leave now. He was having trouble breathing. 

He made it back to the quiet of his car before he covered his face and gave in.

**Author's Note:**

> When I first wrote this several years ago I was terribly homesick. Now I'm no longer homesick, but it's picked up new meaning as I've grown older. It's short, but forever one of my favorite fics.


End file.
